Love Letter to My Husband

Love Letter to My Husband

Dear Suresh, SUU, Jannu, Sweetheart, Better half, Handsome, Hero, Heart Throb, Romeo, Prince Charming, BugBear, Cutiepie Suresh,

Today, Its Seven years we have been married!!

I still remember when you had come home to visit me; my sister and cousins’ were all excited, they all came running to me and said “he is a pretty handsome guy”, I was very nervous, when I served coffee to you and your family.

I would like to admit, I was mesmerized by your looks, when they asked us to go and have a word by ourselves…I had already fallen in love with you.

The gentleman you were and the way you behaved, I knew I have met my Prince charming… That Night, I was eagerly waiting for a response from your end, how I prayed that you should say YES to this proposal.  

When I heard my dad speaking on his mobile from the adjacent room; I was thrilled when both our parents’ agreed to our proposal. I thought of calling you that moment, but the Indian girl in me stopped, Dad came and told me that the engagement ceremony with be the coming Sunday and on that day  the date of marriage will be decided by the priest. 

I was waiting for your call or thought dad will give me your mobile number but nothing like that happened. Honestly by then I had gone through your Facebook account and gathered a lot about you… The day of engagement I felt like a princess, the gift given by you, I have cherished it and preserved it as a jewel to this date.

The Time we spent together from our engagement till the marriage, it can’t be erased, and whenever I remember those days a smile runs through. You, taking me out for  long drives, buying me Ice-creams on a rainy day and coming home at midnight to give me a bunch of roses, I was embarrassed in front of my family that day and many more crazy things we have done together.

I always felt I am the luckiest girl, to have a perfect family and now I was ready to accept a new perfect family.

After a week-long Marriage ceremonies, tired… (I still go through the video and photographs sometime and feel the strength to move ahead in life) when you showed me the tickets of Switzerland for our honeymoon, I was Zapped!!! You are my Hero.

Time just flew; memories collected are precious, so much of love, affection and you had taken care of every detail out there, never felt we were just married. I always felt I knew you for ages.

Back home after 10-days; it was time to hit back to daily life moving out of the fairy-tale dream, you and I had to attend our offices and we were prepared for that.

Planning for our future, working those extra hours for making our incentive, dreaming of starting something of our own…I know we have done very well for us in the last few years, everyone in our family take the example of us, saying, “learn from them how a couple should be”; I am not sure how you feel, but for me it is a feeling of achievement.

In search to achieving something, we have comprised our happiness; I don’t remember for a long time, when we have sat together just not talking finance or family… Just two of us…

Now, when we talk it is only what we have to buy, how to pay the EMI, what is the function we have to attend, what gifts to give, what happened in your office, or arguing over petty issues, which we both know has no relevance in long run.

Can’t believe, it is seven years today, I have so many good moment and not so good moments between both of us.

Getting up early in the Morning to finish all the household work and see that house is spic and span, preparing our lunch boxes and getting Roshan ready for school. Making the bed; so as when we come back it would be easier. I never felt time was enough, that when you get up to offer to drop Roshan to bus stop, that comes as a welcome relief.  

In the initial days I wanted you to wear the dress of my choice when you went to office, today you expect me to put your cloths and tie, which you have not realized is putting an extra burden on me. 

You have told me many time that I am not dressing up like before, Yes agreed…Did you know I eat my breakfast while travelling in a Bus or a Cab, where is the time to dress up, most of my makeup is done while travelling or in office bathroom.

Evening the story repeats, making dinner for family, Roshan’s Homework, putting him to sleep, cleaning the dining table and clearing the kitchen, after a hard days job, I don’t even have the energy nor inclination to have my dinner…you have never offered to help and I am not blaming you for that, because you are not brought up like that, our society doesn’t expect the husbands to work; If someone sees you cleaning the utensils, it would be them, who will be more offended than you.

The restriction of whom to talk, answering you for every phone call or message received, which comes after reaching home. Where to go, when to go, what to wear, what hair style to keep and also making decisions about my career moves; I understand you have been protective about me, but I had a life before marriage and have not done anything wrong, I had taken decision of  my life and was successful then as well.

All the decisions in the house whether to purchase a house or to go for a holiday… Major or minor are made by you; I am okay with that, because I understand you are making a decision keeping the family’s interest in mind.  What hurts is that you don’t even consider me worth asking. I am not sure what is happening to my Salary, what I get is pocket money every month, to take care of my travelling and any incidental expenses. What you have forgotten dear is that I am also managing a company’s accounts with a MBA in finance.

Today, I don’t see the connect between us, you expect me to come to our bedroom all dressed up and act like a heroine of a Hindi movie; after working for 17 to 18 hours, I am not in a mood nor do I have any energy to have a romantic time. 

Yes Suresh I am also a human and also want, but please live my life for a day, working from 5 AM till 10 PM, in house and office, if you will have energy for romance or you will crave for some sleep. If you would have understood this; argument in bed would have reduced. 

Last few days when you were away on a tour I had the time to think, I should say some “ME” time and I thought what am I up to? Where am I going? And many more questions run through my mind…

I was just looking what you do and what I do at home

You get up late, have your coffee, which is kept ready; read newspaper, check your mobile, drop Roshan to the Bus, have breakfast, get ready and go to office. When you are back, you have your dinner, see TV and Sleep.

And have you thought about me, my day!!   

What I have understood is that I am an unpaid servant of the house who is expected to keep the house clean at any given point of time. I am an unpaid cook who should be ready to serve food for the family and friends when they come. I am a unpaid everything in this house….And of course   an unpaid prostitute only difference you being the only customer, I should be ready to sleep with you when ever you want.

I am not blaming you for anything, you are a great human, you are so helpful to all your friends and relatives, and you are always there for them… when I was slogging it in the house.

I am so much in love with you and Roshan that I never realized what I am doing, yes in our culture mother/wife was taking care of house, that’s when they never went out to work…This double role is nothing but fooling myself. I have two options now either quit my job and take care of my family or quit my family and take care of my career…

It’s difficult, BUT…

YES, I Resign, I Resign with lot of pain from all unpaid designations…

With lots of love

Yours ……………….