Entangled Online

One of those days when I was not really busy at work, just sitting in the office, going through my phone and laptop, reading one or the other article and browsing through all my accounts of social media.

Sanju called me from the other end of the bay and asked me to come for a cup of coffee, I don’t know what happened to me, I told him, “ I am busy, you go ahead”, I was surprised by myself, why did I have to make an excuse, I was not busy, I could have been for a cup of coffee.

This caught me thinking, why is that I had to do? Is it that I was more keen on knowing what is happening in another corner of the world, rather than spending some time with my good friend? I immediately got up my seat and walked down to the cafeteria, where three of my other colleagues were also having their coffee…

I took my cup of coffee and stood next to them, they all looked at me and smiled and their eyes went back to the mobile, all of us were having our chai together but other than an occasional word or two all of us were busy in their Mobile. Standing there I remembered I had to buy a gift for my cousin, I had to attend her birthday function that night…So I asked Sunju if he was okay to accompany me?

The Mall was the next building to our office, as we entered the lift, I saw a bunch of people in it and everyone head looking downwards on their mobile while walking down, I asked Sanju do you have any suggestions for the gift? Sanju didn’t hear me for the first time, he was busy texting someone, he asked me again…I repeated my question…. He suggested, why are you asking me? your wife should be a better person on this and do you want any trouble taking something which she will not like…. Very valid point I thought and reached out to my, Mobile to call her.

I had forgotten the same on my desk, so couldn’t reach out to her, now it is on me and my skills to get a gift which my wife will like to give to our cousin, now it is not important that if my cousin will like it, it is more important my wife likes the gift which she will give it to her and I smiled at myself.

On casual observation, I found all the people I am coming across were either on mobile watching something, texting or talking to someone over the phone.

Why was I noticing this? Is it not the new normal…? Or maybe I was not having my mobile with me then…

I was doing all my calculation to check if this would be good for my cousin or not and of course, will my wife approve of this as a gift and asking Sanju for his opinion, he will give a glance at it and would have nothing to say other than some expression as an emoji and go back to his conversation on Mobile, I think he was on a group Chat with his client, so I took a call on a gift and got it packed while walking back I asked, Sanju, You have been on chat for long any concern ? is it a client or personal, he said No; I was there because it was an interesting discussion going on twitter And also sharing my views and he showed me the thread, it was quite interesting, spent some time reading it…

When I was back on the table, I thought I will have a lot of missed calls and a lot of text messages but to my surprise, I had only one call from my wife and some text in the group.

For a change, my wife was happy with the selection of gift but she wanted to see the picture, I said I have not taken as I had forgotten my mobile at my desk, she looked surprised and asked You without Mobile? Not possible!!

I tried justifying, you think I am an addict, I am not… It was already Saturday evening and I can go without a mobile till Monday morning, do you want to bet on it? She said you can’t, I challenge you?? I asked what is the Bet for???

She Said I will take you to your favourite restaurant, for a candlelit dinner on Monday Night with live Ghazal music. I took up the challenge…

As I was picking my car keys to go, as a habit, I picked my mobile as well, My wife laughed from behind, she said, I knew you can’t even stay without your Mobile even for five min as well, you hold your mobile to sleep...you lost dear, I was not ready to give up so easily, I said I had picked up to switch it off so that if someone calls, they should not feel bad….I thought it was a close save, I switched off the instrument and walked out.

As I was driving, I used to see my mobile on cupholder, I was surely feeling uncomfortable, wife taking selfies on her mobile and I think, uploading on her Instagram account… The evening it was surely very uncomfortable, I not holding the Mobile, I was repeatedly checking my pocket for the instruments.

We came late night, I saw my mobile on Dinning table was tempted to pick up and check on Messages, wanted to check on the photos uploaded by friends and cousin of the party and I was wondering I don’t even have a single photo with me, as I walked near to the mobile, I heard my wife walking in and talking to her pet, I remembered the challenge and me being me, I walked straight to my bedroom.

She was browsing her Phone and telling me the photos of function have come very well, then she saw me without a mobile, she said why don’t you get you mobile and check or check it on mine, I told her “A CHALLENGE IS A CHALLENGE”; she said it’s okay, I just told for fun, I said NO, I have accepted and I will do that, and I am planning for a “NO SUNDAY MOBILE”, for further weeks and I giggled.

She also kept her mobile aside and we started chatting with each other, we shared a lot of things it started with the function, then gossip went to friend and relative and slowly moved to us and kids, A good two hours we spoke as we dosed, she said Jaan it has been so long that we have chatted so long, without an argument with a guilty smile, planted a kiss and slept. Most of the time we are on our mobile while being on the bed while going to sleep.

Next day being Sunday we got up late and I was reading my newspaper and sipping my coffee when my elder son past walking me to pick his cup of Milk just wishing not even looking at me he was on his mobile, I told him at least look at your dad or shall I post a PM with a photo you can see me there…he was not amused, he went to my wife and asked, “what happened to dad? why is he talking like the 90’s Dad…”

I was feeling fresh and the temptation of taking the mobile was there, I was feeling as if I was reading stale news, as days went by I lost that Urge, I called the family to play cards after lunch and also took my wife to the colony park, It was a wonderful day, as the night approached On the dining table I told my family I feel more fresh and relaxed….I would like to (re-)discovering how life used to be when everyone was offline. Everyone laughed at me, you can’t do without technology, you will suffer the gnawing emptiness of not knowing what your friends are up to. You’ll also be inconveniencing yourself in all sorts of ways: No Wikipedia? No Spotify? No Google Maps? No Transit? No Uber?!? The internet has become an indispensable part of our everyday life and since it became available to the vast majority of people on this planet, we spend more and more time online with every year to come…

I said could be and I changed my statement I would like to (re-)discovering how life used to be when I was offline.

No one took me seriously….

I Went to bed I have no thoughts from Twitter, no loud noise of WhatsApp video, no beautiful pictures of Pinterest or pressure of anything, I slept and slept like a baby.

The next day morning, I told my wife, evening at 6:30 I will pick you from your office and we are out for dinner, as I have won the bet, now I am switching on the Mobile. She smiled and agreed.

I noticed on mobile nothing important was there, reached office check on all social media accounts, I had nothing which felt I had lost on the last 48 hours, this got me thinking, why am I checking this every minute, am I really missing anything as people are saying.

Do I need a google map to go in my city? How many times I have used it? Can’t I pick up my dinner while driving back home, what is so urgent for me, maybe that will help me to talk to a human…

I had a meeting to attend to five blocks away, generally, I would have taken my car, it was pleasant weather, so I decided to walk that way and I had time in my hand, so I walked by looking at people, buildings and hoardings, I have not noticed a lot of things have changed, while driving, you miss a lot of things.

I knew the place roughly, but I was not sure about the building, so I asked an auto driver, who was watching a movie on his mobile, he got little irritated, he asked me rudely don’t you have google map? I said NO, he murmured “wearing suit and boot looks like educated and says he is not having google”  and showed be the building which was very next building where I was standing, I smiled at him and thanked him and went for a meeting, I was 15 minutes ahead of my schedule, I went and give my card and ask the reception to inform my client that I am here, she humbly requests me back to Message him and he will come to meet, I said looked into her eyes straight and said I forgot my mobile back at the office, She had a surprised look….

After the meeting, I thanked the lady at reception and said you have been very helpful and told her that I was just avoiding to use technology and you helped me.

Down there I found the same auto guy still on his Mobile, I said would you drop me to my office, He asked me, have you not booked in UBER, I said no, he said, I go only for UBER ride…. I thought for a while and said, okay whatever UBER says I will pay you that and you don’t have to pay a commission to them as well and asked him to check the fair in UBER now.

After looking at the fair, he logged from UBER and said, Sir, don’t you use Mobile? You asked me for an address, which no one asks nowadays and then you are coming to me and asking for a ride, generally nowadays everyone books it UBER… while sitting, I removed my phone and showed it to him, he asked, you have a phone have you not paid the Bill??? I smiled at him and said if I would have booked in UBER, can we speak so much…. He also agreed…that small ride we have a lot to talk like old days and he gave his number and told, I am generally around here, if you want a ride, I will come…. I saved his number.

The evening I called up wife from my office and said I will be there at your place by 20 minutes, please do come down, I was there on time, she called me back after 30 minutes and asked, where are you? I said am waiting for you at your office parking for the last 10 minutes, she said you should have called me, I was doing nothing… I could see her walking toward me, I cut the call and she came sat in the car, I handed over a bunch of flowers to her and said, it was nice waiting for someone you love…. She was happy and told, don’t flatter me so much… I said I mean it, it was nice….

It was a wonderful dinner, I had put my phone on silent mode, but wife got a couple of calls, she was nice to close the call fast, while driving back she asked, you generally get a lot of calls, I didn’t see you attending any, why? Did you forget your mobile again?? I said no, I just put it on silent…

She said, please check you might have anything important, I asked from where? And she opened my mobile and told you have four missed calls from your boss, should I connect it…I said 4 calls, please do… She connected the call on cars Bluetooth, as he answered he asked, what happened to you? why are you not picking up the call? I said I was busy, anything important, I was looking for your mail and wanted you to resend it, but as you didn’t pick up I had to search in my mailbox and wanted to tell you that your presentation is not ready for tomorrow evening, which I have to approve.

I very humbly told him, Boss you have to check your mail, I have forwarded the presentation as well… he interrupted to me in-between and said I was waiting for you to inform me on WhatsApp saying that mail is forwarded….

I kept quiet… I am sure he felt embarrassed and told I will check and respond back to me, and asked how was your meeting today? I replied I had not completed my discussion, I thought as it not important when it's complete, maybe by tomorrow evening, I will keep you in the loop.

And I gently put across to him, Boss from now on, I will not be available on call post office unless it is important and very critical, He was annoyed, he wanted to say something, I cut across and said, boss, I am with my family and on speaker, if you want to speak can I meet you tomorrow at 10 AM at your place.

He rudely cut my call…

My wife was zapped, what the hell did you do? Your appraisal is due and you have done very well this year, why are you spoiling your chances of promotion this year…. I didn’t answer her, she was just looking at me…I said, for this, if it happens, let it be….and asked her how would she like to have her weekend?

When I was back home, I switched on my data on mobile and checked on what are the messages I have received, I didn’t see anything important, so I switched it off again. My wife had switched on the television and put on the NEWS channel, she asked why don’t you join in listening to the news which is a ritual before going to bed…

I told her, I have an interesting book, would like to read that instead, anyway I will come to know of important news by tomorrow morning, I am not the finance minister to take any decision and smiled… her jaw dropped and told, don’t change so much that it would be difficult for us.

Next day morning I got up early, instead of looking at my mobile which had become a practice, I woke up saying a prayer which my parents had though me in my childhood and went out for a walk without the mobile, I could see people walking, listing to music, walking their dogs but looking at the mobile at last lady sweeping the road was on mobile speaking to someone and municipal water guy sitting and seeing some video after opening the valve… crossing each house while walking, I found TV switched on either listing to some Bakati Channel or music or NEWS… a question popped on to me, are we so depended on the screen?????????

I Opened my WhatsApp account, I was on lot of groups and in most of that, I was not knowing more than half of them, I had a school group, class group, Boys group, company groups and truthfully, in most of the group you are close to only a few people and they write to you a personal Message and when I thought people who matter to me hardly message me, they call me, like my close school friends??? And a thought went by, what about the photos they would like to share, if I am not in FB or Instagram, Then I realized, whenever any of my friends or cousin thought it is important, they have shared the pic with me on a PM, I am sure I want the PICs to be a memory rather than being in memory chip….

I decided to exit from all my media account.

I went early to the office, no one was there, I open my mail, wrote a mail (Personal and official) to all my contact saying, I would not be available on any social media from now on and if you like to contact me they have to call me or put a message on WhatsApp, which I will be accessing only in the morning and evening giving a specific time, “Clear-headedness’ comes at a price."

As my colleagues read the mail, they started talking to themself as if I have some trouble, I went boss cabin at 10 AM sharp, He asked if I wanted to speak anything??? I said, Boss, you wanted to speak to me…He said for what? I reminded him of yesterday evening conversation and I again informed him that I have written a mail as well, that I will not be available post office hours on WhatsApp as well if anything important only I expect the call. He started laughing loud after some time he asked what is wrong with you, is there any trouble, do you want me to help you….?

I said boss, I want to be off the internet for some time maybe a month, would like to experiment, I know I will lose out on all latest Twitter drama and will definitely fall behind on memes, but let me check For all the minutes saved not going to the Internet, what can be done.

I further told Boss, I am on mails most of the time and when I drive and when I am in a meeting, I am not supposed to answer the calls or message, then where is that I am going out of touch…is it just our fear of losing out, let me take an example, you call me at 10 in the evening and tell some work, which obviously, I do it the next day, but the entire night I will be worked up? Why is it necessary, you can just put on mail, when I come the next day, I am sure I will be able to complete it.

He said you experiment, if it doesn't work in any way, we both will have chat again and that time it won’t be pleasant.

Initially, I was facing a lot of trouble,    it was more physiological the actual, my hand would go to mobile to check on different apps, need some information would try to search it and the results may be true or not sure  We have become robot-like humans that mostly gain knowledge by accessing a huge “hive mind”, called the internet, in which nearly every data about our past and present is stored. I came over the urge slowly…

All the minutes saved of not visiting the internet site, I could finish my work early and would reach home early, now I have some hobbies and would not be exaggerating if I say I have a life. After two years of me following the rule Internet on a need basis, I can firmly say “The internet has become an indispensable part of our everyday life” is not true. Just to tell you that year was promoted and also awarded an all-paid holiday by the company.

I realized that without the continuous distraction the internet provides I feel a lot more relaxed. It was easier for me to set priorities and spend more time in a productive way, instead of allowing it to pass by unused. It felt like awakening from a deep slumber and with this awakening came to the realization that the internet definitely can be a very useful tool, but it can also become an addiction that captures your mind on a certain level, holding you back of what you could be truly capable of. It is the re-remembering of what you were truly designed to be: a human and not a calibrated robot that connects back to its network as often as possible, in order to receive the latest updates about the most irrelevant things.

PS> Author of this story has not watched television for more than 16 years and is not having any active social media account (he is seen on twitter sometimes and on WhatsApp).