Extended Limb... My Experiment With Mobile

After the initial few days of enjoying most of my friends started complaining of WFH, they started cribbing, as we are accessible on our Smartphone most of the time, Office has started calling, mailing and messaging  all time and expectation of response is also very high.

Reality is that, nowadays, a smartphone is an extended limb, it makes communication easier, tasks can be managed with ease from apps and we can buy things/ get directions to anywhere /or print documents only by tapping on your screen.

Practicality. The idea behind the smartphones is to make our life easier, more practical, and productive. Smartphones are tools, we control how we use them and how we spend our time on them. Or at least, we should be.

I too was facing the same problem, a year back, If the phone didn’t ring or a notification didn’t alert me, I would wonder if there were signals or the mobile had switched off, I would reach out to check it.

Whenever I was alone or got some time in between my work, I would reach out to my Mobile and Check for some notification and that casual look into my twitter account would extend to 15 to 20 minutes of reading.

There are so many interesting topics, so much material to read, so many opinions to understand, so many Beautiful pictures to look at and my favourite music to listen to, who can deny the fact that it has taken over me.

I was out for a business meeting at a coffee House waiting for my client, He texted me that He would be late by 15 minutes, I had nothing much to do, so I pulled out my Mobile only to find my battery was running low and I was not carrying my power bank, so had to wait till I got back to my car to recharge, so I placed  my Mobile and looked for a magazine or Newspaper to read….To my surprize I was not able to find one, that’s when a group of youngster’s sitting on the other side caught my attention, they were clicking selfies, I was sure they were from some nearby college.

They were so happy and posing for the camera… from a Group pic, it turned out and became an individual Pic session and once it was done all of them went back to their mobile I am sure they were updating their social media account, I could see a silence…no one was talking to each other, I was keenly observing them, some were typing or I guess texting is the right word, few were attending calls and rest I could find seriously staring into the screen.

As my meeting was on, the group took considerable amount my attention, I could notice the group was hardly interacting with each other, they were more worried in capturing the moment rather than living the moment….I just wondered if they were  more bothered of friends who were not with them meaning the virtual friends  than the friends who sat next to them, They were more happy when they were facing the  camera  than when it was not…

Driving back this incident caught me thinking, on the way, seeing a group of friends, at a restaurant, all of them were looking down into their phones instead of each other? Am I one among them? I also spend a lot of time on my mobile… How is it possible to not be into it? today… everything is connected to mobile, may be your OTP or your payment, or a picture, a route map or just as a dictionary, booking a cab or ordering food anything or everything is on the Mobile.

Answering to myself, the same question again, Other than Twitter, I don’t have any other social media account, so I am not with them, I use it for my needs and not to waste my time, I comforted myself. But that question started haunting me? I started noticing my Mobile behaviour much closely. I also started noticing how others were using…

With excuses of News and catching up on the latest event I would be on twitter and YouTube, or look at my phone to check the time, which can lead to checking notifications or scrolling through time-sucking apps. Notifications are the most distracting features of the mobile.

Walk into a saloon you will find people buried into their Mobiles, you can find a Cab driver just glued to his screen, look around, let it be anybody they are all just looking into one or the other screen, and I feel the most addicted are the 60+ age group. I have been asking my kids to avoid the Mobile, but I have to understand, if it is bad for them then it is bad for me as well…

And all of us have the same excuse to give,  what else do I have to do? I am not disturbing or troubling anyone…

While reading an article on Screen time I understand, “Did you know that around 84 percent of people cannot pass a day without their cell phones? It has become such an addiction that even smoking and alcohol habits have been placed second in the list after cell phones. The reason why we can't live without cell phones is because we believe it is a part of our life. Living without a cell phone can be compared to living without a limb.”

This thought Led to one more question: why Can't I Live Without a Cell phone?

Without that gadget, I become a totally different being, altogether. Without this tool in hand, I will become restless and out of control, I need to communicate to survive. With the help of cell phones, I am in touch with people who live near and far away from me. Living without a cell phone will only add more grey in my life rather than making it colourful. I will have nothing to do or no one to sit with and talk to. Having a cell phone would probably lessen the boredom. I feel insecure once I am without a mobile phone. If I have no connectivity to technology, I am an unnatural being! The feeling that I do not exist is brought out by living without a cell phone.

That was a very good reason and excuses to be with this gadget…

This brought me to a very important thought in my life: “Can I live without a smartphone?” I wonder… can I live – really live – without ?

This thought got me to challenge myself to reduce the use of Cell Phone, A year back I decided to reduce the use of Cell Phone and I would like to share my experience with you all, I don’t want to seem like someone who’s preaching and telling you to throw your phone away and smell the roses.Let me start by saying, Yes I still use a Cell phone, I  have reduced it considerably, today I don’t carry it everywhere ( I have seen people carry it to the bathroom as well, is it not a place to be all by yourself) Though the Gadget is not next to me while sleeping, I hardly spend a few hour.

So, what was the experience like…

I am more present: I know this might sound to you like some zealous but face it: I am not there while I am looking at the screen. I am not there when I am thinking about how many notifications I might have on the home screen. When I don’t have a phone, I can’t escape from being really, 100% whom I am.

I am more productive: Again, don’t think that since I have no phone, I can’t fall into the Netflix-procrastination trap. I’m still a normal(?) human being who loves to procrastinate, although my current situation of being phoneless actually has decreased the chances of me getting distracted by notifications, feeds, or group messages and helps to treat the multitasking syndrome we all have. I solve only what’s in front of me, right now.

I have more meaningful interactions: This is a huge one. Not having a phone means that I can’t easily communicate with everybody around me: remember, no more WhatsApp, no more Messenger, no more Telegrams, phone calls or instantly replied emails. This makes me carefully choose who I'm going to talk to when I have the chance to do so.

I’ve learned to cope with awkward situations: When you are in a gathering or a social situation and nothing to do, you know! You usually pull out your phone from your pocket and check your mail, send a tweet, or take a photo of your drink to post on their Facebook! ( I like calling it Fakebook) Like everyone else does, pretending they are just too cool to be there! Well, now imagine I can’t do that because I don’t carry a phone.

I am less anxious: My levels of anxiety decreased a lot since I don’t really have to be permanently keeping an eye on a device to see if I got any new messages, notifications, or updates. When I had a phone, I even felt paranoid and thought it was vibrating, when it really wasn’t.

I use my laptop for everything: For communicating, for music, for YouTube, for Medium. And you can’t really drag your laptop with you everywhere, so whatever happens on the internet, stays there until I turn it on again.

I read and write and other Hobbies more.

Instead of using a million apps to track my steps, calories, workouts, etc. Instead of counting calories, I stopped eating fructose to control my appetite and got in on the intermittent fasting. Whenever possible, I go for long walks, without carrying any music in my ears but prefer to listen to music of nature around and smiling at people in the park.

While Travelling I just stare out of the window, strike up a conversation, think about my day, pay attention to my posture, or enjoy watching the views around me. I carry a magazine with me (I don’t like reading fat books) I love being able to turn back a few pages to re-read something that’s suddenly relevant.  The batteries never die on my Magazine.  I never forget to charge them. 

When I am bored, what do I want to do with myself?  I am guided toward certain things: a pen and paper, the forest, a soccer ball, a spatula.  Right after itchy boredom is self-discovery.”

That’s the new ME…

So, the important question is how did I do it?

It was difficult but having the experience of totally cutting myself from television around 22 years ago, I was confident of doing the same with Mobile too…. Now I have limited the use, but the target is to get rid of it in a few years …

1.     Check my email during working hours. I have limited checking and replying to emails during working hours (around 10am-6pm) and most replies go twice a day. I have informed my clients and co-workers that if they contacted me outside of those hours, they can expect a reply the next morning. I have not configured my mail onto my mobile.

2.    I use a watch to tell time: It's simple but effective to invest in a wristwatch to tell time throughout the day. Using a watch means I won't have to look at my phone to check the time, which can lead me to checking notifications or scrolling through time-sucking apps. I Looked for a watch that also keeps track of the date and an alarm clock to wake up on time rather than using your phone's alarm. And surely it is a style statement isn’t it?

3.    Answering Phone Calls: I have One Hour for an entire day and divided it Morning, afternoon and Evening to answer calls or I return the calls which ever I have missed in between, I am sure we do that when we are in a meeting, so why not when you are busy working on something else, but I make it a point to call all missed calls or messages.

4.    Look up directions ahead of time and write them down. If I am going somewhere new, I use a computer to look up directions ahead of time. Either memorize the directions, or write them down, making note of any landmarks that I need to look out for and.... I being me.

5.     I Make plans for meetings in advance, I am in the habit of making plans at least a day or so in advance. I Call up friends to invite them to meet up and make work-related meeting plans over email in advance. Then, I won't need to rely on texting or instant messaging,  I also Let people know that I won't have a phone with me when I meet up, so if they try to reach me to cancel the meeting or inform me they will be late. Generally things go well, but there were times when I had coffee all by myself and went back to the desk to find an apology email from  the client for not being able to make it up for the meeting, which I know is because of the Mobile.

6.    Initially I made specific, phone-free plans for the weekend. If I don't have any specific plans, it can be tempting to sit and scroll through social media. Instead, plan to do something like go for a hike, attend a concert, cook lunch for my loved ones, stroll  through a museum, or simply catch up with friends and all without my phone.

7.    Informed my contacts about my new system for getting in touch. I Provided my acquaintances with information regarding the best methods for reaching me, I Started telling everyone, if I don’t answer, you will get a call back or if you message or e-mail, I will definitely respond back. Initially family and friends were frustrated, angry, or perplexed when they were unable to reach me immediately and sometimes loved ones got worried about my well-being. Now they are used to my new me Now they know I am available during specific hours.

8.    I have noticed people going to bed checking if any notification they have missed or early morning waking up rubbing their eyes and looking at their mobile as if they are doing a prayer before and after going to bed.  I started Leaving my phone in another room at night. I start my day with a morning meditation and spend some extra time to make breakfast for my family. Once I was comfortable leaving my phone in another room at night, Day was not a problem at all. I Leave my phone in my bag during work.

9.    News: This is surly a big excuse for lot of us, I am sure, I am not making a policy decision to know minute to minute update on US elections or any other news, I wait for my crisp newspaper to be delivered the next day morning to get the right perception and it is better to invest in multiple papers and magazine to frame my opinion, so no news on Mobile.

10.  Not in touch with Friends: I was hardly on any social media I am still in touch with my friends, those who are my friends will surely reach out to me and I reach out to them that WhatsApp group with all schoolmate whom I hardly remember, I am better off without them, my memories are very precious, I don’t share it with world, I share with few friends of mine which can be done on a personal message and you will all agree friends will take time to share their memories if you are valued. I am surely not interested in someone pouting out her/his face and putting a selfie every 5 minute on social media.

11.   Try leaving my phone at home during outings. Started small. Started when I started going for movies, for family dinner and while going to the neighbourhood store…By breaking the habit of automatically grabbing my phone going out, I started to ask myself, if I really need it before leaving the house.

12.  To take photos. One of the most convenient aspects of owning a smartphone is always being able to have a high-quality camera on you. However, if I wanted to depend less on your smartphone, I am considering investing in a digital camera instead. Now I depend on the other person with whom I have gone out to take a Pic and send it to me.

It’s ironic, but some people feel that the cell phone which is designed to keep people connected can actually drive us further apart. Smartphones were to make life easier, not more complicated.

After a Year of practice today I had the courage and confidence in putting it across to you all… Targeting to moving towards a mobile (cell Phone) free life.

“How I choose to spend my moments is how I choose to spend my life.”