Skip to main content

The Real Power of the MAN

For a change, we are not on the street with the candles!!

Whenever there is an unfortunate incident... Bangalore or Delhi, we all get talking...Facebook activities and of course.....Whatsapp messages!!! It definitely stays with us for a few days. 

Media, celebrities, police and the damn  good politicians condemning the indecent behavior.  Voices raising from every corner crying for something strong has to be done...but....what?

Will putting them behind bars for a few days or weeks really help? Publishing their name and photo to shame them, will it actually help...? Has it changed anything yet?

I am not sure!!!

A few questions popped up in my mind were.......

  • What really motivates them to do this kind of act?
  • Are they in the right frame of mind? 
  • Is this kind of thought, with everyone gets somewhere subconscious?
  • Why is that boys who indulge in sexual violation and assault don't think beyond that 10 Minutes?
  • Why don't they think that if the same incident happens to their family member, what will they go through.

Do we all really Respect women (our Mother/sister/Wife/Girl Friend or Girlfriend)?


Looking beyond some of these questions and trying to get an answer, I came across one important question...

What is that they have in common? (Both affluent or the Poor)

UPBRINGING......
Yes it is their upbringing!!!

In the mad rush of being successful and making more money, Most of the times we parents are not spending time with our children, Therefore they get influenced by wrong source or thoughts making waves around them. Eventually they end up being unable to differentiate between good and bad....right and wrong.

Out of many such information/influencing sources, I would like to take few examples, An example, (this is not only a source) look at our movies, our hero is attracted towards the heroine, initially she is not interested in him. He tries all tricks  up his sleeve (surly an Harassment for the lady) but She falls for him eventually. But my young friends watching it feel that it is okay to do so. 

But in real life the story is different and somewhere in the process, the ego of man get hurts, if the woman he falls, declines his proposal (Movie is Scripted, Life is Not).

I have still not understood, just because I said "I Love you", why is that you should love me? I might have hundred reasons to love you, but you may not have any reason to love me.... learn to LET GO (Because if you don’t then it is not love, it is your EGO).

Every song in Indian movies shows women as an object of sexuality (Not to talk about rain & items numbers).

Movies also show that it is okay to get closer to his ladylove by force or indecently to show his masculinity just to make her accept him....

Is it all not all influencing  my young friend?

Hundreds of such examples are there in the movies......we can find many in our society as well...

The lesser we talk about internet, better…A tool in every kids hand. 

Recently Prithviraj Sukumaran (Kerala Movie Star) realizing his importance and influence over the people, promised them by saying that he will never ever ridicule a women in his movies...it is really commendable; I think lot of other stars from the Indian film industry should follow this and set an example....to influence their fans in a right way and to encourage them to respect woman.

Learning from Family... My father is a my Super Hero

Father has a major role in bringing up children.... he is the super hero for their Children. So his behavior at home and in the society will directly influence kids.

When sons see his super hero father's behavior towards his wife, he is also observing it as a  treatment towards a woman.  This influences his innocent mind and learns that it is the way he has to behave with a woman.

Similarly sons hear the views of his super hero father (Father may not even realize that son is hearing) about his woman colleagues, woman TV presenters, actresses, neighbors, etc. Super hero father's silly and insensible joke about a woman.....all such behavior of the father somehow adds on his developing mind in a very wrong way. 

At adolescence, sons comment on girls; instead of correcting and explaining to him, we prefer either to ignore or completely avoid talking the subject saying, "It’s OK. He is a boy, just growing up!"   

There are many such everyday incidents where we teach our sons to act superior over women, unknowingly...

I would like to quote another example; Father is driving the car and entire family is with him. Father doesn't stop at crossing when the signal is red, he just drives on. His son who is in the 3rd grade and just learning about the signals in his school says "Dad! You should have stopped at the RED signal". Father without thinking much says "Son, it is very late in the evening and there is no traffic around so why should we wait"? What is son (children) learning here?

So just think what would be happening in those houses.. Physical assault, misbehavior, abusive life, frequent use of filthy language (Very strange, all are again with respect to sexuality,.. MC,.. BC,.. MKLD…we use the "F..." word as if it is something trendy and fashionable).

Every man expects their mother to be respected by everybody. They can't take a word against her whatsoever. Unfortunately you forget that your wife is the mother of your son, hence it is very important to respect his mother as well.

My mother used to tell me that the way you behave with a woman, will show who has raised you. She also taught me that if you treat your woman as a princess it means you have been raised by a queen.

Home is the first school for everyone.  Therefore learning to respect women also starts at Home...

If everyone thinks, “I can't change you, but I can..." A change will surly come.

Every boy has to understand -

The real power of the man is in the size of the smile of the women sitting next to him.


Comments

  1. Sanjuwar23 March 2017 at 15:39:00 GMT+5:30

    Awesome Anup .. real reflections in life.. most of us play double standards. Some times it's me too. we talk, but fail to practice .. hats off to the real man .. i actually mean kudoos to the queen who bought you up.. to.make you a real man 👌👍

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anup Raj23 March 2017 at 15:56:00 GMT+5:30

      Sir ji, still waiting for a coffee with you... you are always a great support to me.

      Delete
  2. Sandeep Rao23 March 2017 at 20:51:00 GMT+5:30

    Hmmmmm....the content does ample justice to its title....because it made me go Hmm!! Lot of insightful thinking and apt examples. Who knows, your words may even change a person to turn into a better human being. Niceeeeeee.

    ReplyDelete
  3. ruchi kukreti14 October 2020 at 15:42:00 GMT+5:30

    Excellent Sir! Thought provoking for parents . If parents don,t teach their children to respect women they will definitely end up seeing their children becoming rapists and criminals one day.
    Thanks a lot Sir!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Why I Would Tell You Not to Buy a Holiday Home in Wayanad

 Let me start with something that may sound strange coming from me. I live in Wayanad. I am building businesses here. I am involved in hospitality. I am working on holiday homes and nature based living. And still, if someone calls me and says, "Anup, I am thinking of buying a piece of land in Wayanad and building a homestay. What do you think?"   My first answer today is not, "Yes, go ahead." My first answer is, "Wait." Spend some time here. Understand Wayanad. Then decide. Because I have slowly realised that many people are not really investing in Wayanad. They are investing in a picture they have created in their minds about Wayanad. They see a beautiful piece of land. A mountain view. A stream running beside it. A lake somewhere nearby. Trees everywhere. Maybe the forest is just a few hundred metres away. The broker says, "Sir, this area is going to develop." The price still looks reasonable....
Post a Comment
More...

We Forgot Us

Srinivas was in his late fifties and, by every conventional definition, he was a successful man. He had spent most of his working life in one of the biggest corporate companies in Bengaluru. Good position, good salary, good house, good savings and a life that most people would look at and say, "What more do you want?" Saritha was working too. She was about six years younger than him, ambitious, independent and still very serious about her career. Their two children were doing well. One was working in the USA and the other was studying there.   From outside, the Srinivas family looked like one of those families who had got everything right.   Inside, something had slowly gone missing.   Their mornings were almost mechanical. They would wake up, go for their walk, come back, get ready and leave for work. Their offices were in different directions and the Bengaluru traffic made even a normal journey feel like a punishment. It was not that their offices were ver...
4 comments
More...

No Audience, Still Acting

I was having my tea the other morning, sitting on one of the small shacks near my construction site. A teenage girl walked past and waited at the bus stop across the road. It was clear something was special for her that day. Maybe her birthday, maybe an event in school. She kept adjusting her hair and her dress, and from the corner of her eye she checked if anyone was noticing her. That small moment pulled me into a long thought. Who are we when nobody is watching? I realised how often we live our life like someone is always looking at us. As if there is a stage, lights, and a crowd waiting to judge our next move. I lived that way too. Every smile measured, every word chosen, every silence planned. I knew how to act in rooms, how to fit in, how to be liked. What I did not see then was how temporary habits become permanent masks. Slowly the mask sticks so tight that one day you forget how your real face even looks. The mask was supposed to be something I take off when I feel safe. But a...
1 comment
More...