End...For a New Beginning

It has been more than a decade that Priya is married to Rajesh, but still, the mention of her mother in laws name brings in a mix feeling Happy, scared, anxious, angry, nervous, irritated and any other feeling you can think about.

Srinivas and Lakshmi had an elder daughter Sreeja and a son Rajesh, Sreeja was married to a doctor and had migrated to the USA long back, she would visit them once in three years, stay in her in-law's house, visit them for a week and would leave, Her interference in the family was minimal. She would call her parents once in a week and speak to all of them.

Rajesh was a software Engineer, Priya also has finished her MS. but was on a sabbatical after marriage, she wanted to get used to the new life before moving on to a professional career, which she had discussed with Rajesh before marriage and moreover she had moved from a different city to Hyderabad.

Initially, Lakshmi is happy to see her son married. But after a while, insecurity creeps in. She is used to running the house in a certain way, and feels threatened the way Priya wants to make changes, Lakshmi is the Sweetest Human being for the rest of the world, but both of them never had a great relationship.

Priya always used to think - why do Lakshmi not feel the same need to interfere in her own daughters' married life? Why only sons' life? Why does Lakshmi not feel jealous and insecure about her daughters' husband?

As the days passed by things were not very comfortable with both of them, Priya started taking most of the decisions at home, from the brand of soap to be purchased to clothes or what kind of subscription to DTH.

Gift for cousin’s marriage or which and when the holiday has to be taken was also a decision taken by Rajesh and Priya, it was only informed to Lakshmi.

Priya was very accommodative when it comes to her side of Relative, it is not that she was not a good host with Rajesh side of the relative, but Lakshmi would be taking an upper hand on what to be served and how the whole situation had to be managed, so Priya would feel suffocated.

Rajesh was often sent for onsite visits to different countries and Priya used to tag along with him and could never get into full-time employment, she tried her hand as a Teacher and some work from home options, but never really worked out, and her Two pregnancies made her focus more towards the house.

There was a lot of difference between Lakshmi and Priya when it came to bringing up the kids, Priya used to put her foot down very firmly, Rajesh was never clear how to handle the situation and would look up to his father for guidance, Srinivas used to smile and ask him to let go of the things.

Priya never comprised on any conditions when it came to her kids, she would still accommodate when it came to other things, as kids were growing up and workload increasing, Pressure and stress on her was increasing, she was not able to cope up and was not willing to bear the day to day Nagging of her mother in law.

She wanted to be independent, As her elder son was ready to take admission in the school, she asked Rajesh if they could shift next to his office, there are a lot of international schools as well, the Idea seemed good for Rajesh as well, He said, he will look for a place for Rent over there…Priya interrupted him and said, why don’t you look for some apartment, that we can buy, anyway, that will help you in tax planning and we would have a property for children as well.

Saying that She opens an app in her mobile and showed him some apartment she had shortlisted, Rajesh reacted Oh! You have already done all the groundwork, I am sure, you would have spoken to them as well, tell me when should I drive you down there to have a look.

She jumped on the offer and said, Can we go tomorrow as it is a Sunday, Rajesh asked Shall I ask, parents to join us too to have a look, She said, NO!, let us first have a look and if we like any of the property, we can inform them, I am sure they will be happy if you are buying anything.

Rajesh felt it was reasonable, what is the point in taking everyone to all the places. Next morning, Priya requested Lakshmi to take care of the kids for some time, as she had a doctor appointment and a lunch at a friend’s place, hearing this Rajesh was surprised and had a blank look on his face, he was not sure why Priya had to tell like that. While driving Rajesh asked Priya, “why you had lie to parents”? She said,” if we would tell now, there would be a lot of questions and we will not be able to go out and moreover, as I said, would want to give them a surprise”,. Rajesh Just Nodded.

Priya had done a meticulous work, out of the three properties she had Shortlisted, all were on par with each other, from school, supermarket, to entertainment all were a stone throw distance and for Rajesh, the office was only a 10 minutes’ drive.

Back home Rajesh was more looking at The Budget and was pushing for a two-bedroom apartment, but Priya insisted on a Three-bedroom space or she said, would prefer a four, for which Rajesh asked why? She replied, look… one bedroom would go for children and one for parents whenever they come to visit us or if they would like to stay with us and one for us. If you buy a four-bedroom, we can accommodate any guest coming, it is a one-time investment, if we take a little stress also, it would be good, what do you think, she asked?

After paying advance for the apartment, which was ready to move in, Rajesh and Priya informed their parents on the investment and said, they would be happy if they can also move in. All hell broke loose, Lakshmi was very upset and started blaming Priya of breaking the family and said, “your intention was the same from day one”.

There was a silence after some time, Next few weeks it was like a few strangers were staying together, Srinivas called Rajesh when he was in office and met him at a coffee place and told him that he should move out and be happy, this situation will dilute in some time and asked if Rajesh would need any financial help to pay for his apartment, Rajesh said, “No dad, I can Manage, while parting Srinivas, stuffed an envelope into Rajesh’s pocket and said, “this is a gift from your Dad for you and Priya”.

Rajesh was shocked to find a  Lakh Cheque, He shared the incident with Priya that Night,  She said, “I have no problem with your parents, I always thought there was a difference of opinion because of generation, but what your mother did that day was way beyond necessary, Just imagine I was thinking of a bedroom for them as well”.

After a Few weeks, Rajesh moved out, Priya took all the pain to the decorate the house as per her choice, her personality was reflecting in the house, it had no shadow of Lakshmi in that. Whoever visited them on their house warming ceremony, Admired their house. Srinivas also attend the Ceremony, but Lakshmi didn’t come, Priya took Srinivas around the house and took him to the room and said, “this room was for you both, whenever you feel please come and stay, I am not sure why Mother in law is upset. His eyes filled with tears and said, “I am so happy for both of you, I want you to keep taking care of your family and be happy”.

Rajesh Visited with the family to his parent’s house once in a while, but Lakshmi would only speak to him, play with kids but royally ignore Priya. After a couple of visits Priya said, “it would be nice if Rajesh and the kids visit the parents,  as she feels very unwelcoming”, says to her Father in law, he smiled and said, “this time also will pass by”, and said, “what your Lakshmi has sowed is what she is reaping now”. Priya was not clear and didn’t understand what he meant.

Its three years from that day Rajesh has started living separately from his parents and Lakshmi has never visited them, Rajesh used to come with children once in a while and the frequency was coming down, due to their personal commitments.

When Rajesh’s Sister came for a holiday this time, she said, “I have to visit Rajesh as well, let's all go there”, Lakshmi said, “I am not coming, you can take your father and go”. She was surprised and asked what the matter was, Lakshmi was quiet and then she looked at Srinivas….

He said,” nothing your mother is not happy to let them be independent, she wants to tie Rajesh with her umbilical cord and Priya wants to breathe easy, which I don’t feel is wrong and moreover, I think she forgot the days when she made me come out of our house, you reap what you sow … so why complain”

Lakshmi looked very angry at Srinivas and said, “did I do it for your bad? if we would have been at your house, we could not be so comfortable you always find fault with me, did I every trouble Priya as your mother, used to taunt me?”

Srinivas smiled and said, “you comparing her with your daughter always, it may not look big, but”….and he paused and said, “I should not get into this maybe Priya would be the right person to tell about it, I am out of this”

Srinivas looked at his daughter and said, “yes for sure there were no big issues, it was more that your mother didn’t want a change in the culture she had built for so many years and Priya wants to look at the new outlook, she surely doesn’t hate us”

Lakshmi was looking for support from her daughter, “You never behaved with your in-laws like that, see what I have taught you”, She looked back at her mother and said, “do you know mother, I have my share of issues with my mother in law, I also have moved out of the family home and living separately, I don’t bring back the issues here and I am sure Priya never takes it to her house. Now I and my in-laws understand, Time has changed and our priority is our children as was for you people, we would like to live our life, would like to do our share of mistakes and learn.”

Priya had lived 26 years before coming to this house, she will have her culture which she has lived all throughout, it would be difficult for her to change overnight, did you give her the time or sit with her and inform, explain or understand?

If you are understanding and give that space and freedom, they will get back to you for your suggestion and advise, and mind it they have asked for an opinion, don’t expect it to be implemented.

She further said “when You want Rajesh to be happy you ignore that if, you are going to make his wife unhappy how come he will be happy? Are you not a wife to understand that? And moreover, what is she doing all this for, it is for Rajesh and his kids right?????”

Lakshmi, says nothing…. They dropped the idea of going to Rajesh's house that day. The night she recalled her relationship with her mother in law and how she felt when she was a daughter in law and thought what is the difference then and now?

Early morning, she asks her Daughter and Husband to get ready and, on the way buys a load of sweets, clothes, and Toys for the kids and reaches Rajesh House, they are surprised to find Lakshmi there, and happiest in all was Priya.

She looks at the house and a lot of appreciation and was very happy to see a very well-maintained house of Priya. When she walked into a room that was for parents and saw a wall full of pictures of her, Srinivas and other family members, she was overwhelmed with joy and sat on the chair over there for some time.

While having her lunch, and Priya taking special care of her and severed her favorite paneer curry, After Tasting, she said, “it has come out well, BUT” ………………. As she said BUT everyone looked at her, she gave a guilty smile and Hugging Priya she said, “It is difficult for a mother in law to die in me……so you bear a bit of it and they all laughed….."