Rebeca

Rebeca was considered to be a tough lady, never seen as a usual lady next door; She was a single mother from a small town.

As usual as a single mother, she went through a lot of difficult situations. As long as her parents were around, she had some moral support, but after she lost them it was a lonely struggle. The first and probably the most difficult part of being a single mom was that people judged her without even trying to figure out, how She got into this situation.

She found out too late that She could have fallen for a frog, who pretended to be prince charming and hence decided to go separate ways with her husband. Aside from the fact that she was the one working to bring food to the table, she also has to do all the house chores after work, because all her lazy husband ever did was eat and sleep all day, besides physical abuse and alcoholism.

Personally, for her, the most difficult part was to explain it to her children when they asked “why other kids’ dads are with them every day and why we seldom see our father”.

Kids always felt and carried bitterness against their mother as they felt deprived of normal family life, they had seen their father very friendly, good and loving… he was always there for them and would be there for their annual days or birthday parties, which Rebeca couldn’t make it because of professional commitments.

Rebeca Tried hard to keep her personal and professional life balance, no one to share the load with was overwhelming. And the worst part of it is when the kids were still too young and are more prone to sickness or injuries. As a single mom, after her son was hospitalized for a week because of pneumonia, and then just three days after getting out of the hospital, her daughter had to be admitted again for another week because of fever. Having no one to take turns in caring for her child in the hospital, she had to give up a full-time job and tried freelance work so that she could spend more time with her kids. Having no partner also means that financial responsibility is to be solely taken up. Yes, the bills, food, and hospitalization expenses are just some of the things.  She had to get back to a full-time job.

With her professional life demanding a lot of travel and with no support at home, after due consideration she decided to put both her kids in a boarding school; Dolly and Shine both were not happy with the decision and this brought about anger and bitterness toward their mother.

Rebeca tried her best to devote her time to kids, but she by herself knew she had failed, taking them for a holiday was out of the question, bonding between Dolly and Shine also was fading as most of the time they never used to meet, she was in Girls Hostel and he in Boys.

After finishing their education both of them had found a job for themselves in metros and were never in great terms with Rebeca and within themselves as well, they used to call each other only on their birthdays or festivals and on some occasions.

Today was Rebeca’s birthday and on a con-call Three of them went into an argument, never the call had gone well when all three spoke or for that matter, if they meet, it all started with Dolly talking about her birthday when they were young, Shine also started saying, “I didn’t have much of memories or happiness as a  kid all I can only remember was a lot of rough moments with mother, I didn’t need much to be happy; just was happy to spend that time with you, playing with a ball or coloring would be so nice, like so many other kids., but never could”,...

Rebeca, Short back, “if I would have spent time with you, who would be working to feed you and pay for the fancy colleges you have gone”. Dolly was quiet, she said “on a good day let us not start all over again Mom”, just before the call got disconnected, Shine said, “that’s nothing Great, every parent does for their kids”.

Broken once again, sitting in one corner of her house, she tried reading a book, but the thought was going back and forth again “what is the mistake I have done in bringing up my kids? Why do they have so much bitterness towards me”?

She started thinking what could have been done to change the situation…after some time a thought crossed her mind what can I do to change the situation today?

Whatever I do today, Kids don’t need me, they have become independent, they have their own lives and I think they are happy…, What I can do today is maybe give them some good memories to cherish and maybe being a good grandma.

I have become tough, my though has become rigid, I have lost the emotions, why am I not able to take my kids' complaint in a positive sense, Yes, he feels I had to give him more time what is wrong in that? I think I have developed a false ego, and whatever I am thinking and doing is right; I am sure, I had no one to guide me and never found a shoulder to cry on and never had anyone to share any emotions…. I am sure this has got a lot of bitterness in me.

Because I had to face a difficult situation and had to face a tough society, why should my kids also be seen in a similar manner, they are not my competitors and surely, they are not looking anything from me financially, what they want is some emotional support.

She asked a question to herself, proving myself right at this age is important or keeping my family together and happy? When I could stand for my family then, when young, why not now. 

At that time I thought, They studying in a good school and college is important and I providing  the required money was my priority, maybe I was wrong, they didn’t need a provider, they wanted a mother, where they could come and tell their trouble, cry in my lap, hug me with happiness…. Yes, Kids, I have also missed all that.

Maybe the bitterness of being alone, workload and surrounding has made me rude and my success of being what I am today has made me egoistic even in the house and with kids.

She sits down to write a mail to both her kids; She starts with an apology, she said, she was sorry for what has happened, I won’t call it a mistake, but the situation demanded. She goes on explaining what lead to the incident and why she had to become a single parent and her situations, why she had to keep them in the residential school, she went on to explains her loneliness and requirement of money, which forced her to be a workaholic and started looking at appreciation from outsiders than from family.

She went on to write, she understands what she has lost in this mad race of proving to society her decision was right. She further writes, I am not asking you to understand the situation but would like to have my kids with me and shower my love, to you both and would want to be a great-grandma to your kids, if you feel, we can start it again, I will wait for this Christmas to celebrate with you all.

Christmas was three weeks away, she would everyday check her mail and there was no response and no calls as well, she was be dejected…but her hope was alive…

On the eve of Christmas, early morning, the doorbell rang, she walks down with vessel to collect her milk, and to her surprise, she finds Dolly standing there, Happy she drops the Vessel and Hugs her and then her eyes were looking for Shine, But she was not able to find him…She hesitantly asked Dolly, has shine not come, is he still angry with me?

Dolly making a sad face, I always knew you love him more than me, why are you worried about him, when I am here…

Rebeca said, oh! It is not like that, I would want you both to be here, it's okay if he has not come, we will celebrate Christmas here and barge into his house for the new year….

Dolly said that won’t be necessary, He is paying for the Cab, he will be here at any moment.